A long journey it feels like it has been honey dear, hm? Abroad -found just another ‚being there‘. That, at least, is the story- the glitter in your eyes tells and look alike when screaming through the night. A long journey of knowing this inner beat, the feeling and how ‚things should go’n work‘. And all the time it was more ‚but‘ than ‚is‘.
It is the most innocent heartbeat whos voice tells the truth and knows the way.
You fall for him and he for you. No forcing at no boarder, no boarder and no aim. To see, after quiet a bit of time, that this is neither the way to be, nor to live. It can’t. Life exhaust the more you make compromises. Extremely exhausting are those of the kind of the absence of boarders, aims and force. You gained strength you said, so why you lose it when it becomes important? You gained knowledge you said, but you seem to lose it in the way to lead your strength.
Proud of nothing and all of that, happy to be alive because there is no way around and no chance of having a nip of any other condition whilst being here. Slaves of happiness. It’s great listen to our old heroes, times of ‚knocking on havens door‘ , not ’shake that ass‘. Its not that the one thing is better, its just that its different. Its less a quickie, its more a being alive, dancing on tables, stop cheating around when you know, very well know, where your heart belongs. Knowing that this is the strongest, very strongest gift of all of them. Better than a 5 hour session of outstanding intercourse. Its like a 24 h one. With every part of your body. Its a truth-coming cliché which kicks your heart to the best, most wonderful and most glorious lifetime in your lifetime. The best drug ever.
You know it. How it feels. How it should feel. Its a bloody lie, not a 100% like, but a 80% like, when you get awake with someone else there in your arm, and this little needle-stitching-feeling appears that tells you how it should be and why this here, right now, is wonderful, but not the feeling you know. Like the methadone junkie that knows how heroin, the very first shot, feels like. But you know that your shot of the best heroin in the world is not just lasting forever, its not poisoning at all.